It's Go Time

Alright, I've done enough moping around. 

YOU'RE DONE

It's time I get my life on track. I've had 2 job interviews this week so I am motivated.

time to run, eat, sleep, and do work well.

NEW RULES FOR NEW LIFE

1. Sleep.

I am not a fan of sleeping. I can always think of a million better things to do, but it's time for change.

2. Cook Well

I'm tired of not being able to make a decent meal. I can't cook, but it's time to learn.

3. Go

My bum knee has been a pain lately, so running has come to a halt. No marathon this year, but that doesn't mean I can't move. Time to get in shape, no running necessary. 

4. Do Work

They say time you've wasted is not wasted time so long as you enjoy it. Well, I need to turn my "wasted" time into school time, and it needs to be done well. No more half-assed work.

5. Be Kind

Conan O'Brien once said, "Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get.  

But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen." and I believe it.

always say thank you, please, you're welcome.

6. Don't Think, Do

I am always so concerned with how people see me. Am I smart enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, fast enough, athletic enough, good enough? 

I question myself constantly. I listen to my friends more than my heart. I say "no" far too often. 

I let people take advantage of my shyness and I am a push over.

ENOUGH ENOUGH ENOUGH ENOUGH ENOUGH ENOUGH

From here on out, I'm living life for me. Fuck people.

I have a favorite quote by my most admired man, but I never follow it.

But, it's time to start.

Winston Churchill said,

"You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life." 

Time to stick up for myself, my beliefs, and my heart.

new me starts now.

cxs

Mistakes

I should not stay up this late. Once 2 am comes around I need to just go to bed. Staying up this late, listening to soft music, and sitting alone in my apartment I think about everything. By everything I mean all the bad stuff like regrets and mistakes I've made. I have a lot of them in my life and I'm only 20. They say the only things you regret in life are the chances and opportunities you didn't take. No one really regrets DOING something, except me.

At first, I thought I made a big mistake by going to SIUC. 

Now, I think it was a big mistake I ever left.

....

cxs

words of advice to self:

p.s. I'm still really lost in life.

Things That Make Me Smile

This Quote

"Would you complain because a beautiful sunset doesn’t have a future or a shooting star a payoff? And why should romance ‘lead anywhere’? Passion isn’t a path through the woods. Passion is the woods. It’s the deepest wildest part of the forest; the grove where the fairies still dance and obscene old vipers snooze in the boughs. Everybody but the most dried up and dysfunctional is drawn to the grove and enchanted by its mysteries, but then they just can’t wait to call in the chain saws and bulldozers and replace it with a family-style restaurant or a new S and L. That’s the payoff, I guess. Safety. Security. Certainty. Yes, indeed. Well, remember this, pussy latte: we’re not involved in a ‘relationship’, you and I, we’re involved in a collision. Collisions don’t much lend themselves to secure futures, but the act of colliding is hard to beat for interest."  —Tom Robbins

This Song

This Place

This Movie

& These Cats.

 

to smiling,

cxs