Just another social networking, internet, life consuming addition to my browsers toolbar. It is much easier to post videos, photos, and quotes on there than it is on my Blogger. However, this doesn't mean an end to my blog. Au contraire. I'll still be here, writing about rants, raves, life, and how I am surviving in it. This blog is too near and dear to me to just give up. I has almost been a year since started my blog and it not only helped me release emotions, but I now have made a path for me, and others, to look back on and see mistakes, journeys, and experiences I've made a long the way to figuring my life out.
At 2am, I was reading past posts on here and finding it funny how just a year ago I could be so entirely lost, and here I am, new school, new town, new major.
I've got my college and student life almost figured out. But what is to come after graduating?
constantly wishes what happens in books, would happen in real life?
I find myself listening to music with no lyrics solely to think of stories in my head. Stories that match up with the music. Stories where Peter Pan whisks me away out my window. Stories where fairies will mess with girls I secretly despise. Stories where I will slow dance in a castle with my true love. Stories that take me far from where I am now.
I want to live in a world where dragons exist. Where lions talk and wardrobes lead to new adventures. Where mermaids sing and horses have wings. I want to live in a world where men are true gentlemen and women are poised. Where fairies live in forests and butterflies tell you how beautiful you are. I want to live in a world where Hogwarts is a school of choice. Where I can fly out my window and be in Paris by morning. I want to touch the stars and breath underwater.
"I believe in everything until it's disproved. So I
believe in fairies, the myths, dragons. It all exists, even if it's in
your mind. Who's to say that dreams and nightmares aren't as real as the
here and now?"
I've always dreamed of becoming an author, simply to get these images out of my mind and put on paper to revisit as I please.
At first this sounded like a great idea since it correlated pretty well with my international communication degree. However, I am having the WORST time. I really want to learn and master this language, so I'm not going to give up on it because it's hard.
What I am going to do is rant about how difficult it is for me.
The evening started off well. Hard at work. On this dull paper.
While in French class today my teacher asked us where home is.
When I said Chicago, the first thing my teacher replied with was,
"what do you miss most about Chicago?"
It was like someone then punched me in the stomach. I could feel the lump in my throat swell and my face get hot. I wanted to reply with "comment dit-on 'everything' en francaise?", which means "how do you say ' everything' in French?". But rather, I pulled together and just said, "I miss tall buildings".
I've always been really good at hiding my feelings under any circumstance, but today,
I've never felt so homesick.
I miss Chicago. A lot. Especially tall buildings.
The tallest building in the town of Bowling Green is Bowing Green State University's library, with an impressive 8 floors. I went from working in one of the tallest buildings in the world (Sears Tower) to studying in the highest floor of the tallest building in all of BG.
Alright. I admit it. I'm scared to death about leaving for BG.
There. I said it.
I've been constantly telling everyone how excited I am and happy to leave and move back out and away from my family. All the while, in the back of my mind I keep telling myself how I wont know a soul, classes will be hard, I wont know where anything is, and will fail.
I'm leaving my friends, my family, my city life, and my jobs to get something a lot of people would do anything to get: an education.
I should be so entirely grateful to be getting an education and all I'm doing is crying over how I'll be so alone. I need to buck up and realize that that is NOT what I'm going to school for. I'm going to get an education so I can move on from school, get a job, and continue on with what I hope will be the best years of my life.
The faster I finish school the faster I can hop on a plane and just go away.
I will be leaving Thursday for BGSU, and still have no idea where and who I will be living with (we'll see how this turns out). I just want to be done with school so I can travel. I should be graduating this spring and yet I'm starting fresh at a new university going on junior year number 2.
I really hope I made the right school/major/life choice.
NYE started the year off on the wrong and somewhat "lame" foot. Between fending off creepo older guys trying to dance and kiss me, and holding back a drunk friends hair while she puked in a pitcher (while I remained sober), I'd say New Years was a little less than perfect. I just hope that means this year will be amazing.
No matter, any year will be better than 2010-2011.
I hope 2012 brings you happiness, courage, love, and everything you deserve.